Sunday, January 23, 2011

On my mind

Today is a rough day for me... seems like I'm having a lot of them lately.  Today is particularly hard for a couple of reasons. 

Today would have been my mom's 62nd birthday.  I miss her every day...what a wonderful woman she was- the best mom anyone could ever ask for.  I have been thinking about her a lot lately, mostly because I wish I could have one of our phone calls where I complain and cry about everything going on in my life and she fixes it all by saying just the right thing.  And a hug, a hug from her would be amazing right now.  I love you mom, happy birthday.

Today also would have been our due date for our second pregnancy.  The day I found out I was pregnant was the anniversary of my mom's passing. When I went home and calculated what my due date would be online I was in awe when the date January 23 came up.  I thought....this is the one- this is really going to happen.  My mom is up there in heaven looking down on us and giving us this huge flashing sign of hope.  I know due dates are rarely right but this just seemed like it was meant to be.  Unfortunately, it wasn't.

I had a good cry when I woke up and Steve made it all a little better with a hug and his sweet, concerned face asking if there's anything he can do.  I love that man more than anything in this world, everything is easier when he's with me.  This is how I know in my heart that one day very soon we will be parents...the world would be too unfair if Steve wasn't a father.  He was born to do be a dad.

Bridget

13 comments:

  1. Wow thar is a tough day. I will be thinking of you and your family.

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  2. Oh that's really sad...but I'm glad you have something to continue to hope for and look forward to.

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  3. So sorry for you loss but hopefully she's watching over you with this cycle right now. Hugs lady!

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  4. big hug coming your way. i know your mom is proud of you with how you are handling today.

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  5. *hugs* Hang in there...Happy ICLW. I did a 5dt yesterday, and soon you'll be in my shoes!

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  6. So sorry for this hard day...thinking of you.

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  7. Sorry it's such a rough day and understandably so. I would have thought for sure that pregnancy was "meant to be" I don't believe in coincidences. Thinking of you, glad you have a great man there to wipe away the tears. Xoxoxoxi

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  8. So sorry for all of your losses and for such a difficult day today must be. So wonderful to have such an amazing husband to lean on today and always.

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  9. sorry for such a rough day, I can't imagine how you feel

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  10. So sorry you're having a bad day (hugs)

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  11. Hi just popping in from ICLW.So sorry you're having a rough day and for your losses, I really hope your IVF cycle will bring you and your husband some joy at the end.
    I just love your photos of your darling cats and dog by the way,they look like cuties :)
    All the best,
    Ants #133

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  12. So sorry about your losses. I too lost my mother far to soon. I'm sure she watches over you. Hugs.

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  13. I am so sorry you are dealing with all of this. There is no doubt in my mind that you both will be the best parents ever and you both deserve it!!! I can't wait till the big day!

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