Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Counting sheep

All of my posts have been downers lately, I can't help it.  I promised myself I would be honest on this blog and that's what I'm doing.

I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing and today I broke down and cried for a long time.  And now I feel guilty for crying  because I waited so long for this baby and I love her more than anything in the world. 

From 7:30am yesterday to 6:30am today, Emily has only slept about 5 hours- the whole day and night. 

Has anyone else had this problem?  We tried everything to get her to sleep and she is not having it.  Sometimes she cries but sometimes she just sits here wide awake. When we do get her to sleep it is very restless and she wakes up as soon as we try to put her down.

I feel so bad for her because I know she has to be exhausted and I doubt it's good for a 5 week old to be awake this much.



  1. My oldest sister had one that really fought his sleep. It was really rough and a lot of times, she found things on a trial and error basis. Sometimes it was the sound of the vacuum, sometimes the dryer, sometimes riding in the car (but only if he would tolerate his car seat), sometimes a lot of walking around and moving him from one position to another while rocking and walking. I'm so sorry... I remember those days well and how hard they were on her. There's nothing you want more than to make your baby happy. Thinking of you and sending prayers for rest.

  2. Aiden did that a couple of times too. DH and I took sleeping shifts throughout the day/night so we could rest. I found that using my Moby wrap put him to sleep, especially if I walked and bounced around the house. You are exhausted and frustrated and you have a high needs baby who wishes she was still in the womb! LOL It doesn't make you a bad mom that you are venting. We know how much you love and waited for Emily. In time, I promise it will get better...Aiden was very difficult in the beginning and I often wondered why I wanted a baby so bad when all he did was cry. We found out he had reflux and now that I've quit breastfeeding he is a totally different, happy baby. Maybe try a bottle of formula before bed to help her sleep? Do you have family that can take her or come over for an hour while you go out for awhile? Hang in there friend, I've been there and it seems like it never will end, but it will! Vent whenever you need to!!!

  3. Ps. You are doing a great job!

  4. Is she on a routine? do you try baths to sooth her? Do you keep a chart of when she eats/sleeps/poops/bathes? Maybe it will help you look back and analyze it and see what worked and contributed to more sleep vs. less.

    Sorry, that's all I've got.

    It WILL get better.

  5. I wonder if she's hungry? You might try feeding her more, that seemed to be the issue when Chloe was fussy and wouldn't sleep. Swaddling also worked for us. I'm so sorry you are going through a rough couple of days - I promise you are doing everything you can and it will get better. We also kept track of all bottles/diaper changes like Michele mentioned.

  6. We keep track of her feedings and diapers with our baby esp app on our phones, she is eating all the time- basically every 1.5 to 2.5 hours she eats 3-4 oz.

  7. Oh that sounds like it must be so hard! I had a hard time adjusting to a new baby and she was a "good" baby so I can't even imagine what you are going thru. If Emily likes her car seat maybe bring her for a car ride. Sometimes the motion from the car mixed with soothing music help. Don't feel like you are being a downer or anything. The best thing you can do is ask for advice and assistance when needed. All Mom's learn by asking questions of each other.

  8. I was doing some more thinking: have you tried to see if she prefers sleeping on her stomach? Our doctor said that it really helped their son sleep when he had colic. I know it's not recommended AT ALL, but if it helps...Also, My sister in law bought an exercise ball and would bounce her son on it to sleep every night. Might not be a habit you want to start, but if it puts Emily to sleep, you could incorporate that into bedtime. This is a website with ideas we tried with Aiden:

  9. Our youngest had colic and he was also lactose intolerant for about the first 18 months. Is there a chance her stomach is bothering her past the reflux issue? With my son, we switched to a lactose free formula (hard to do when breastfeeding, I know) and used Mylicon drops as often as we could; it made a big difference. He preferred sleep on his stomach and enjoyed being massaged - gently, particularly on his stomach, but anywhere usually eased him for a bit. Baths, as mentioned above, also helped.

    It is soooo okay to be frustrated. You are doing everything you can to make things better for her, yourself, and your husband. Just hang in there - she will eventually even out.

  10. You may have tried all of this but since Holden is the same age, I figured I'd list a few things that work for him when he gets inconsolable

    1) Gripe Water...about a million different brands even organic and it won't be a long term solution but it will give you a few minutes of quiet and that sometimes allows Holden enough time to fall asleep.

    2) Tummy sleeping...I know, I know GASP! However both of my boys are tummy sleepers. I rock/ nurse him to sleep and I'm talking GOOD and asleep. We even moved our rocker into the den so I can watch TV and rock/nurse him with out getting bored. Then put him down on his stomach. Pat his put for a few mins the same way I do when I'm rocking him. He usually stays asleep.

    3)nurse nurse nurse. I let Holden use me like a human pacifier. I know he is no longer hungry but when he is nursing he is not screaming at me. Sometimes I just need a little piece and quiet.

    4)London and Holden LOVED being worn in my Hotsling. Not so much the Moby wrap, but they loved the sling.

    5) I sometimes let Holden sleep in bed with me...again GASP, I KNOW!! I sleep on my back and let him sleep on my chest. Then after about an hour he is deep enough to be transferred into his bed.

    Don't beat yourself up!! Just because we went through hell and back to get these babies doesn't me that we can't have the very common "what the hell did I do" feeling that ALL MOM's have when a child has been screaming at you for 24+ hours. You are not alone, we all feel it sometimes. The only advice I have for you is, this to shall pass. Today she maybe screaming and not sleeping but tomorrow she maybe the worlds best sleeper. Babies change so fast and so frequently, it is really the only thing that keeps us Mamas sane. I know that doesn't help you NOW but maybe it will give you some hope and a second wind, this really is JUST A PHASE!!

    Good Luck! Feel free to email me if you ever have any questions, I am by no means an all knowing Mommy, but chances are I can at least make you feel NORMAL. I probably won't even know the answer to any questions you have, but sometimes another mom not knowing makes me realize that we are all equally clueless about these little 10lbs miracles no matter how much experience we have (or think that we have) ;)

  11. I know you are doing a great job. Babies are HARD work and just bc you wanted this and worked hard for it doesn't mean it makes it easier. hang in there B.

  12. Did you check into the sound machine with the white noise option? I have NO clue but hope you are taking any family up on offers to watch her for awhile so you can get a little rest, from what everyone says, this shall pass. Hang in there and hope you'll remind me of the same in a few weeks!

  13. I think so often, after experiencing infertility, we think that we need to do things perfectly, because we know that there are so many others who want what you have, and you almost feel like you're letting a lot of people down when you don't do it right. At least, I know I've felt that way when I've cried and been frustrated. Just remember, though, no-one else is expecting you to know it all, so don't expect so much of yourself! I think you're doing a great job. I was really impressed by your "What we do for colic" post and even read it to my husband. You are doing AMAZINGLY.

    As for how to help Emily, I don't know, I've never had to deal with colic. I swear by swaddling for Abigail, it's all that got her days and nights sorted out, and as soon as I started swaddling her during the day for naps last week, she's been sleeping then too (not saying it to brag, I promise.) She screams bloody murder when I try to swaddle her at night, but I leave her swaddled and then nurse her, and that usually calms her down. I know you said a few posts back that swaddling doesn't work, but maybe you could try it again? So many people I know have said that you need to train a baby to like swaddling...I don't know about that, but maybe there's some truth to it?

    I'm thinking of you and Emily, and hope things start looking up soon. :)

  14. you're entitled to feel whatever you feel and vent whenever you need to. this is a big change in your life that is bound to bring frustration. regardless, we all know how happy you are to have emily and how much you love her, ups, downs and all! even though i don't have any great advice for you, just know that i'm here and i still love reading your blog. we all love you!

  15. Don't be so hard on yourself! Who cares if your posts are all downers - you have a newborn and if that isn't hard enough she's colicky and has reflux! This is real life! There will be days ahead (maybe months ahead :) ) where your posts will be sunshine and rainbows! Take it one day at a time, you are doing great!

    As a last resort I used to rock Logan in the glider and let him hit/scream in my ear until he passed out. I'd rock, pat, shush until he exhausted himself and passed out.

  16. Oh, I have to agree with Ali - I also was the human pacifier. I'd feed side-lying in bed and we'd usually both fall asleep. The boob was the ultimate silencer.

  17. Looks like you are getting some great advice and just know you aren't alone! You are human and I am sure we will all have days like this, but like someone else said, having gone through infertility you feel guilty over normal feelings you might be having, just know, you are normal! It's ok... and hopefully these tips help you!

  18. My son never wants to sleep unless he's in the stroller or swing. I have to walk him around the block a couple times or put him in the swing and listen to him fuss for a little while before he finally conks out.

    It's hard, but try everything you can imagine. Something will help. Good luck!


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