I'm 95% sure my emotional state has to do with the following...
1. Heartburn. After every single thing I eat (even breakfast cereal). Thank God for tums is all I can say. I try to think of them as a
2. Swollen everything. Feet, ankles, legs, hands- uncomfortably swollen. I would like to hug the person who invented flip flops.
3. The scale. Holy shit. I have been purposely not getting on the damn thing, but for some reason I thought it would be a good idea last night. Well, it wasn't. I have never seen anywhere close to the number that was staring back at me. Look, I know I'm supposed to gain weight, I'm all for it. But 25 pounds??? I'm only 25 weeks pregnant- I still have 15 weeks to go. I now take full responsibility for eating like a cow (the nutty bars weren't such a great idea I guess) and not continuing my nightly walk with the dog.
4. Heat. I tried to go to a baseball game on Sunday and went home a whopping 20 minutes later. I become a scarlet faced, heavy breathing mess in the heat. Cold air is my best friend these days. And I love when strangers come up to me and say, "You planned your pregnancy for the wrong time of year!" Really?? Because the time of year was my main priority when going through IVF.
5. Fear. I still get scared. Scared something might happen to her, scared she'll come too early, just scared in general. But I keep trying to remind myself that I am going to be scared for her even after she comes. Such is the life of a parent, right?
So after having a good cry last night I went to bed, put my hands on my growing belly and felt my little miracle jumping around....and I felt so much better; swollen feet, heartburn, weight gain and all.