Tuesday, July 19, 2011

What happens when you quit facebook?

Nothing. I quit my account over the weekend and I am still alive (going through withdrawal, but still alive). 

Steve and I have always had a love/hate relationship with facebook. He very rarely uses his account and he used to tease me all the time about how addicted I was to the site.  He has said numerous times that it's great to reconnect with old friends from school and family that lives far away, but other than that, it's annoying. He would look at facebook once a night for a couple of seconds and end up saying something like, "Why does this need to be on facebook??"

I, on the other hand, will be the first to admit that I am/was a facebook addict.  I checked it on my phone- who knows how many times a day, and I checked it on my laptop at home- who knows how many times a night. Always expecting something new, some big news, something.... I think there are a lot of good things about facebook, I really do.  I stalked looked at Steve on it before I actually spoke to him in person, I got in touch with my old boss- which led to my current job, I shared pictures with Steve's family members that are 10 hours away.

But, I recently realized how lazy facebook has made me in my relationships.  I can say happy birthday to someone instead of calling them. I can look at their status and comment or "like" it instead of actually having a conversation about how their life is going. I can look at their pictures without actually listening to an explanation of the great event they just had in their life. None of these things are necessarily bad, but over the past few months, it has begun to have a different effect on me that I didn't like.  I felt left out.  I could see what my friends were doing all the time and I would wonder why I wasn't invited or why I hadn't heard from them in awhile. Then I wondered if I was making other people feel like that, maybe, maybe not, I don't know. I don't think anyone intends for this to happen, but it does.

What did we do before facebook?  Actually use a phone? Write our friends and loved one's birthdays on a calendar and send them a card? Get together and have conversations?

So I'm trying something new.  I quit facebook 3 days ago and it's hard.  There are a few times a day I get online and start to type, http://www.fac/.... oh wait, I'm not on there anymore. Maybe I'll go back one day, or maybe I won't....


15 comments:

  1. That Toyota commercial always cracks me up! Facebook drives me crazy too, yet I can't quit!

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  2. I feel the same way about facebook but have not found that dedication inside me to stop. The worst person on there is my MIL, she always posts photos of herself and my SIL (her daughter) but always fails to call my husband aka her son. I hated it so much because I felt like she is always leaving him out of life, so I hid her because I can't defriend her thanks to the social standards facebook has put on our lives. Facebook is probably ruining our relationships to some degree.

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  3. I'm not a facebook addict, nor is my husband, so i think I'll be ok, but I totally know what you mean. That commercial has made me think of quitting as well. "That's not a real puppy..."

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  4. FB drive me insaaaaane! I'm constantly complaining of how fake people are and all the pregnancy news.. Ugh!! Yet I don't stop. I need an intervention!!

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  5. this is so weird, I am just about to do a post about quitting FB. I haven't actually taken the plunge, but I'm seriously considering it. I don't think I ever log off feeling good...so I think it's time!

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  6. Ah, you brave lady! I wouldn't be able to do it...coming from a non-phone lover, I would feel out of touch without FB. Good for you! :)

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  7. I don't know if I could do it either - though I don't check it constantly, just now and then. But, I completely agree that it has made "us" lazy and out of touch.

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  8. i am proud to say i have NEVER signed up for facebook!! i just don't get the fascination. i know, i am like the only one on the planet. i totally agree with you that i think it makes people lazy in their relationships (and if i havent talked to you in 2 years, i am not sure i am really your "friend"...), but the biggest reason that i never signed up for it is that i think it is just creepy- people put so much of their life for everyone to see!!

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  9. that commercial is frickin awesome!!!!!!!

    good for you :)

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  10. A is not the only one on the planet... I don't have an account either. However, my best friend has given me anytime access through her account so I'm not totally out of the FB loop. My reasoning for not signing up is that I'm private to a fault (well, except for having a blog about my reproductive issues!) and wouldn't want anyone but close friends and family seeing pictures and knowing what I had for supper:] But, what I've noticed is that it turns into being friends with a person you had one class with in school... and then details about your life are out there for anyone to see and talk about. That said, I think whether you go back to FB or not, it's your point of focusing on real relationships and not forgetting how far a phone call or card will go. Technology is both a blessing and a curse in some ways!!!

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  11. and this is why I never signed up in the first place (yes I know that is so crazy!)

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  12. I never signed up for FB either! I attended a family function this weekend and had 3 cousins tell me I needed to get on FB. I told them I was boycotting it. I see and talk to the people I want to know about my life...so I don't feel the need to post information about myself for everyone else to see. Like Miss Mac said, I don't want people from HS that I had one class with to know everything about my life. If I wanted them to know, I would still be in touch after 20 years.

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  13. Wow, you are brave. I try not to spend too much time on facebook, but I do check it twice per week at least. In our defense, we're both expatriates, with family in four different countries and friends in even more countries. Sometimes the internet is the only way to stay in touch... I still insist on meeting physically once in a while with the few friends I do have near me.

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  14. Hi, this is my first time commenting. :-) I completely agree with you. Especially the birthday thing, which is why I don't show my birthday on there. I would love to quit it (my husband did almost a year ago), but I am way too addicted to do that. I wish you luck in maintaining "old fashioned" relationships :-)

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  15. First I wanted to say congrats on your pregnancy. I just started following your blog and have been wanting to send you well wishes. As far as facebook, I think I can't even count the times I have deactivated and reactivated my account. LOL. For various reasons, including just frustration (my husband and I called it fertilebook for awhile) and how time consuming it is. So props to you for being able to quit and stick to it!

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