My beautiful girl turned 5 months old on Sunday. She has changed so much in 5 months and it doesn't seem possible that she hasn't been with us longer than that. Since she came into my life I've learned things I never even thought about before having a baby. I didn't know about infant reflux, torticollis, plagiocephaly or MSPI. Having Emily has opened my eyes and made me learn- a lot. I am blessed to have this baby girl, my life is so much more than it was 5 months ago and it's all because of her.
It's up and down around my house. Some days Emily is smiling, laughing, happy, napping, and sleeping at night. Other days Emily is unhappy, crying, napping for 30 minutes at a time, and waking up multiple times a night.
I'm tired, beat up, worn out. My body feels like what I can only imagine a 70 year old might feel like. My knees are killing me and my back is screwed. I feel inadequate. I wonder how it's possible that my house hasn't been cleaned for over a month, how I can't have dinner ready for Steve when he gets home, how most days I don't even get a shower or get dressed.
Instead of cleaning, cooking, or taking care of myself I am stretching Emily's neck and doing everything I can to keep her out of a helmet, trying to get her to nap, timing her medicine with her feedings, and most of all trying to keep her happy and healthy. I know a lot of mom's who are much more laid back than I am and sometimes I wish I could be more like that. But I've seen Emily without scheduled naps, I've seen what happens when she doesn't get her medicine 30 minutes before she eats, I've seen what laid back looks like with Emily and it just doesn't work for her. I'm trying not to compare myself to other moms because I'm learning that every mom is just doing what they can to get through the day.
So my mantra is one day at a time. I'm learning what I can and taking the ups with the downs. Everyday is different and even on the rough days I am so thankful to have this baby in my life. Her smile is my whole world. She has opened my eyes in a way I never thought possible and changed me for the better.
I love you baby girl, happy 5 month birthday!