Friday, September 23, 2011

What do I need to know?

Ok, it's no secret that I'm having a baby. 

It shouldn't be a surprise to me that in four weeks or less I will have a baby to take care of....but, I'm starting to feel a tad overwhelmed with this fact.

I know I've done pretty much all I can to be "prepared" but I keep hearing things like...."you have no idea what you're in for" and "nothing can prepare you for being a mom". 

So I'm bringing the question to my blog friends---

What do you wish someone would have told you about labor, breastfeeding, the first days as a parent, how your life changes, anything at all. 

Spill it ladies!!

10 comments:

  1. Its not nearly as hard as everyone makes it out to be. If you have diapers, wipes, onesies, a blanket, a crib and your boobs, you'll be fine for the first month. Honestly.

    The one thing I wish I'd been told more is how easy they are to take with you for the first 4-6 weeks. They are portable so go out and do stuff then! Now (at 6 months) its nearly impossible!

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  2. I haven't been there yet...as you of course already know...but I'm sure you will be fine.

    Women have done this for thousands of years, with much less technology, research, and preparation.

    I think that when people say things like this, they mean that in the general sense your life will be changed forever and that there is nothing else in the world like becoming a parent for the first time. Many things will be worse than you expect, but many things will be much better/easier than you expect.

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  3. In a way, they are right. Absolutely nothing can truly prepare you for it because you've not experienced it yet! OK, I'll go down your list lol:

    Labor: Yes, it hurts but it's not like you see on TV. Mine was manageable (even with Pitocin and no pain meds).

    Breastfeeding: It's natural in that it comes from nature. lol But it is a learned skill for most new moms. It will feel awkward and weird for a while. The first 6 weeks are the hardest; it's important to just keep on keeping on.

    First days as a parent: Overwhelming. You will likely be in a happy/hormonal/tired haze and not remember much about it. So, record everything you can, whether it's through blogging or pictures. Those first few weeks fly by.

    Believe it or not, it IS possible for someone to go through infertility and still develop postpartum depression. It happened to me. If you feel like you are crying, angry, and/or overwhelmed more than you feel is normal, talk to your doctor/midwife. Having PPD after IF carried a lot of guilt for me (and I'm sure judgment from others). I had this beautiful little girl after 3 years of waiting and praying for her but I found myself not able to enjoy her. Getting help for PPD helped me tremendously.

    You're so close! Hope everything goes smoothly!

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  4. I wish they would have told me the wonderful things! It is amazing, sure it's overwhelming but in a wonderful way! Everyone just told me I couldn't do this or I couldn't do that, that I had no idea about anything, guess what I've proven them all wrong! You can do it! All of it and be good at it! Take a deep breath, don't worry and enjoy every single second of it!! Congratulations!

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  5. I am only three days in, so I am no expert. But this is what I hve learned . . .
    Labor is not that bad
    Your dh will make all the difference
    Absolutely use the nursery in the hospital, the 1st night home is tough but would be worse without sleep the night before
    Breastfeeding hurts, but its worth it
    Recovery from labor is really hard
    And it is overwhelming but soooo great
    And you can spend an hour just staring at your baby and it is the best hour of your day!

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  6. My nurse somehow convinced me that getting the IV was the toughest part of labor - she lied! Pushing was by far the worst for me, but I did have the epidural so contractions weren't too bad. People say sleep when the baby sleeps but I haven't been able to do that much. That's the time I try and get things done. You will do great and each baby/family have they own routine that works for them. Just be flexible and you will all learn each other over time. So excited for you!

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  7. I would say that don't feel guilty for putting your baby in the nursery either...you will need the sleep to help you recover!

    Also, take time to relax once you get home and LET DH and other people take care of you...I tried to overdo it right away and let me tell you, I was in more pain than necessary. I should have parked my butt on the couch and let everyone come to me! Let your family bring you meals, water, snacks, etc!

    Also, it's ok to say NO to visitors...I tried to let everyone who wanted to see Aiden come by whenever...and I would stress out if he was fed before they came so that he wouldn't be fussy..MAJOR NO NO! You and your family come FIRST! So if you don't feel like visitors, just tell them you are tired but will text them when you are feeling better.

    Sleep when the baby sleeps...I am still working on that! BUT, it is good advice...Also, don't be afraid to try to keep your baby up after feeding for a little bit to help them regulate their schedules. DH and I bought the book "Baby Wise" (it came with awesome recommendations from our hospital) and it's about gently setting your baby up on a schedule starting at 2 weeks. We have been working it and so far at night, we get 3.5 hours of sleep in between feedings! It's been wonderful!

    Make sure you compliment your hubby all the time on helping you, I found that DH and I are way more appreciative of each other because we are greatful for each other's help! Try to "teach" DH how to do things, don't "lecture" him...they are way more willing to help if they know you won't criticize their every move!


    If you breastfeed and your nipples get really sore, use a breast shield every other feeding..It has SAVED MY LIFE! Ask the hospital for one or two before you go home. ALSO, I pump whenever I get too sore as well which has been great! Use lots of Lanolin as well!

    Enjoy EVERY SINGLE MOMENT with your sweetie...the time flies by SO fast! You will be an AMAZING mom!

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  8. Ask any questions you may have. They may sound dumb to you, but the nurses have heard it all. Also, take advantage of the nurses in the hospital and don't be afraid to ask for help or a reprieve. This does not make you look like a bad mom.

    Babies cry. A lot. Sometimes for no reason. You may cry a lot too. You aren't a bad mom. If they're not dirty or hungry or hurt, they may just want to be held. Your arms will get tired, but they do sleep eventually.

    Breastfeeding hurts at first. You'll get the hang of it. Ask the nurses, doctors, lactation consultants, and other moms for help and advice. It will be worth it. And don't worry about if your baby is getting enough. If they're gaining weight, they're ok. Also, if yours is anything like mine, he will eat a lot, and often. Try not to be frustrated, especially if your boobs hurt.

    Most of all, enjoy the time. It is precious, and they are tiny. Revel in the tiny fingers and toes, chubby cheeks, and tummy. It's all worth it. Good luck!

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  9. I have no expertise to share, only good wishes. I hope you can keep posting after your baby arrives, it will be lonely if you have no time to blog anymore!

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  10. Labor: I'm gonna say it. "Ring of Fire".

    FTM: I have never been so overwhelmed in my life. To the point that I wanted to take everything back - which made me feel guilty especially after dealing with IF. It's normal. Don't beat yourself up about it. Other moms feel that way too they just don't say it (unless you bring it up first of course ;).

    Once you make it past three months it's better than you could have ever imagined.

    I thought I loved DH more than anything in the world. He doesn't hold a candle to how much I love my son. I have never felt a love so deep.

    When his umbilical cord fell off I thought it would look like a regular belly button. It's more like a scratch that slowly heals and opens.

    BF: The first 6 weeks are the hardest. It's also demanding, but forces you to take "down time" as well. Some of my most treasured moments happened during feedings. It's a sweet, beautiful bond. This coming from someone who had an ick-factor about it!

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I would love to hear what you have to say!