just keepin it real

My toddler cries.....a lot.

Terrible twos, that's the name for this all.the.time. crying/tantrum throwing, right? 

Here's how most days go (I even took some crappy cell phone pics so you can get the full effect, you're welcome).

Emily is awake anytime between 6 and 6:30. 

Get her up for school. Some mornings she cries unless one of us stands and holds her- do not sit down or put her down, that will cause more crying.


Try to get her dressed.....good lord.  Take off her socks, crying.  Take off her pajama top, crying. Put clean clothes on, after chasing her around the room. Combing that hair without crying- an impossible feat.

I changed her pants.

Give her some milk and hope that the milk will keep her occupied for a few minutes while I try to get dressed for work. Usually more crying at the gate while she screams, "mommmmmmy" over and over until I get my butt back out to her.


Go to school- walk in the door and a transformation to the happiest, best behaved little girl happens miraculously.  Teachers at school have never seen her throw a fit.  Strange.

school is the best!

Pick the kids up from school.  If I pick Gavin up instead of her, crying.  If I don't give her milk as soon as she gets in the car, crying. If I don't figure out if she wants to walk up the steps or be carried up the steps- you guessed it, crying.

yesterday she wanted to walk up the steps, today she wants to be carried. Duh mom.

Make dinner with the toddler chanting "mickey" following me all over the kitchen, opening drawers, throwing tupperware and towels everywhere.  Steve and Gavin are happily playing in the living room.  Try to get Emily to go play with them, more crying at the gate- "mommmmmmmy".

blurry because she's trying to yank the gate out of the wall.

Get her to eat the dinner- *might* happen, as long as there is ranch for dipping.

Play outside- usually a happy time.

Bath time- depends on her mood, sometimes bath time is fun, other times- not so much.  Drying off is always cry inducing.

I wanted out of the tub but I DO NOT want to be dried off

Bed time- easy peasy, thank God.

Oh Emily, I love you so much. I just wish I knew what was going through your little toddler head so I could fix what makes you cry.  As I've heard many, many times from your Grandpa Mark- "she's just like you were".  I'm sorry mom & dad.

Are your toddlers as crazy emotional as mine?  Please tell me yes.

And if you have a toddler and haven't seen this- go now and get a good laugh.

Happy Friday.

8 months and 23 months

Time is flying in my house.

Gavin is 8 months old and it's amazing to me how different he is than Emily was at 8 months.

Emily was starting to "talk" saying 'mama' and 'up' and Gavin hasn't started this yet. He does shriek and squawk quite a bit when he's happy or mad and his little noises are the best sound.

In the physical aspect, Gavin is ahead of Emily at 8 months.  He started crawling on September 16th (7 months) and Emily didn't scoot or crawl until 9 months.  He is all boy, getting into anything and everything he can reach.  He throws balls, tries to stand up by pulling on furniture and is always banging two toys together to hear the noises they make.

His favorite thing is Emily.  That boy loves his sister.  He tries to crawl after her everywhere she goes and if she's playing with something he wants to be right at her side playing too.  Emily is slowly learning patience with him and some days are better than others in this department. 

His sleep is all over the place.   Some days he naps like a champ and then a couple days later he's fighting naps like they are the worst thing that ever happened to him.  Some nights he wakes up 3 or 4 times and other nights he only wakes up once.  We can't figure this out to save our lives.  Just the other day, after Steve had gotten up with him 3 times in one night, we talked about doing CIO.  Then the next night he slept from 7-4:30am.  What's the deal buddy?

Gavin is the happiest baby.  Steve joked last night that our toddler cries more than our baby, and it's true.  He only gets upset when he's hungry, tired, or if you take a toy away from him.  There have been a couple of times I have taken him to the doctor for a cough and we leave finding out he had a double ear infection and he wasn't even fussy.

He is loving baby food and eats a pouch for breakfast, lunch and dinner.  He even tried Cheerios at daycare and gets really excited when it's time to eat (shocker I know). 

He is tipping the scales at 22 pounds and he's tall like his sister. I feel blessed every day that he has come so far and is growing and healthy after the start he had.

~~~~~~

Emily is 23 months and holy crap that means she's almost 2.

She is repeating everything we say and she still has her awesome sense of humor.  She has had some pretty up and down days in the past month, sometimes she is so happy and agreeable and the next minute she's screaming and crying for who knows what reason.  The life of a toddler I guess.

She is very active; climbing, learning to jump (hilarious), running and always wanting to be outside.  She doesn't stand still for pictures anymore so I have a camera full of blurry shots or the back of her head. 

She still eats really well except she doesn't like some foods that one would think a toddler would love like- mac & cheese (or any noodle), PB&J, or pizza.  Her favorites are fruit and veggies, chicken with ranch, and yogurt.

She STILL will not regularly drink her milk out of a sippy cup, but I'm working on it.  She might go to college and drink her beer out a Dr. Brown's bottle....

Emily loves going to "school" and having books read to her.  She will say part of the alphabet and count to ten but she is kind of shy about talking.  If she isn't sure about a word she whispers it and waits for a good reaction.  There are times that she "talks and talks" and we have no idea what she's saying- but is sure sounds like a good story!

Our days and nights are busy and sometimes blur into one another, but we wouldn't have it any other way!

We survived our trip to Iowa/Illinois!

{I might never drive again}

We had grand plans to drive through the night.... but the kids had other plans.  We left at 10:00pm, Gavin was passed out and was transferred into his car seat without a problem.  Emily, was wide awake when I picked her up out of her crib and would not fall back asleep in the car.  We finally stopped to get a hotel room at around 1:00am.  Except Emily didn't like this particular hotel (I don't blame her, it was creepy) so we got our money back and left.  We drove for a couple more hours and at that point, Emily was crying and had woken Gavin up so we tried another hotel.  This one was much better and we got E to sleep at about 4am.

The second half of the trip wasn't the best, but what can expect with two little ones in a car for that long?

The actual visit with my family was fantastic! 

Emily had a blast playing with her cousins....

throwing an airplane off the deck was the best time!

they got lots of loving from their Aunts and Uncles....

too many kisses!

Aunt Niki

Aunt Julie

Aunt Kelsey

 

Uncle Randl

and their Grandparents

Grandma Regina

Grandpa Mark

and even great grandpa!

Great Grandpa Joe

We went to an apple orchard and had a hay rack ride

My brother Randl and sister Julie had everyone over for a bonfire and cookout and we had such a good time. 

We celebrated all of the September birthdays

Happy birthday Hannah, Kelsey, Steve, Niki, and John!!

I even got to sneak away with my sisters for a pedicure!

The trip home was much like the trip there and we were all happy to be home last night.  G was so happy to be home that he started crawling!!

 

We are in trouble now!

On the road

We are heading to Illinois to see my family this week (like in 2 days!!!) and we're driving.  I'm hoping and praying/begging for a good travel experience.  This will be Gavin's first long trip, Emily has done the drive twice and it didn't go so well either time.  So this time, we are driving through the night and by 'we' I mean Steve is driving and I will hopefully be sleeping in the back with the babies. 

Only problem, I have a history of getting car sick if I try to sleep in the car or sit in the back seat of a car.  Note: I will be trying to sleep in the back of the car on this trip so I can be awake with the kids when we get to Illinois.  Please pray for no barfing, that the babies sleep the whole 10+ hour trip, and of course that Steve stays awake.

And just in case they don't sleep, Emily got an early birthday present from Grandma & Grandpa to make the trip a little easier (on all of us) hello iPad, meet Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. 

yes, that's a potty in the background

I also have snacks ready to go.  And that's about the extent of my arsenal- Mickey Mouse and snacks.  I need a few more tricks up my sleeve...

I can't wait to see my family and introduce Gavin to his great-grandpa Joe, before he is no longer a baby and running all over the place. 

he doesn't care that he's only 7 months old

We have so many fun things planned and I know we are all going to love it!  But can someone please figure out a way to just transport us there à la Harry Potter?

on going back to work

I've been working part-time at the family business for about a month now. I decided to get back to work after my post-partum depression and anxiety were starting to settle down.  It had occurred to me that all of my thoughts/energy were concentrated on the kids 100% of the time.  I was at home with one or both of the kids most of the time.  The kids were all I had to worry about - all.the.time.  And it was one of the reasons I was anxious.  I have high expectations, I'm type A, none of this is a secret.  So when I didn't have something to distract me from the anxiety that is motherhood, it had a negative effect on my sanity mental health. 

{Now let me say, this is just my situation.  I'm not implying that all stay at home mom's feel like this or have the same kind of problem I had.} 

So when I told Steve I might want to go back to work again, he suggested working at the family business.  (Have I mentioned that I am lucky enough to have a husband and in-laws that are supportive and willing to help in any way they can?) This work situation is perfect for so many reasons.  It's flexible,  it's low stress, and the bosses are pretty awesome.

At first, it was like- hold on, my brain is not used to thinking about something other than the kids.  I missed them so much that first week- even though I only worked two days. I still miss them when I'm at work, but each week has gotten easier and I am really enjoying my time away from home.  I'm learning something totally new and it's interesting work. 

I do get a little bummed that I'm not there to watch all the cool stuff they're doing. And squeezing things into the short time between the end of work and bedtime is difficult- it's like I blink an eye and it's time for them to go to bed.  But, all in all, it has been great for me.  And it's good for Emily & Gavin to socialize with other kids and learn to be away from me a little bit.  Emily loves school so much, she's making friends and she's learning a TON. And G-buddy is happy no matter where he is and he sleeps better at night when he goes to school so win, win.  We've got a good balance going here and I'm happy about that.

Passed out on the changing table at 6pm. School is hard work!



I love school!!



a much needed visit

2 posts in 1 week- WATCHOUT.

If you would have told me 3 years ago that I would find some of my greatest friends online, through a blog about infertility, I wouldn't have believed you.  But here I am, with some pretty amazing women woven into my life supporting and listening, encouraging and sharing.

Kelly is one of those friends that I have leaned on in the past couple of years and I got to meet her (and her beautiful family) this weekend.  She wrote about our visit here.

If you don't read Kelly's blog, you should.  If you do read her blog, then you really do know Kelly- because that's how she is in real life; sassy, funny, and telling it like it is (in a southern accent). 

I can't even describe how great it was to sit face to face and talk to her, so I won't even try.  I will tell you that we laughed (a lot), cried (a little) and everything in-between. 

We watched our toddlers, who were born just weeks apart, play together.

She cuddled Gavin and gave me pep talks (she's a good pep-talker). 

And there were cocktails, of course there were cocktails. 

I felt like I was with someone I had known my whole life. We know each other's stories and we can relate to so much of what is going on in each other's lives.  And now I've decided that Kelly has to move to PA.

Thank you Kelly, for everything.  Your little family is the best.

a blog post every 3 months is probably not acceptable...

I was told this weekend I need to start blogging again (Kelly).  I have been missing it so much, but finding the time to sit down and write has become increasingly hard.

So, an update post/picture dump it is...if anyone is still reading?

Post partum depression:  I've been doing much better.  I'm on 3 medications, 1 during the day and 2 at night (that knock me out) so Steve has been getting up with G at night since this all happened.  I have a lot of guilt about the anxiety and depression and about Steve and his parents having to do so much for me. If I'm honest, it makes me feel like a not so great mom.  But I'm working on not feeling guilty and just letting others help.  I'm getting stronger and I feel pretty great most days.  I still have moments of anxiety, mostly at night when I'm trying to get to sleep but I have come such a long way from where I was 4 months ago.  I am grateful that I have this wonderful family that is so willing to help with everything.

Work:  I started working a couple of days a week at the family business.  It's been good for me to get out of the house and start learning something new.  I miss the kids like crazy, but I know this is a good change for all of us. 

Emily:  Oh this girl.  She's 22 months old now and as feisty as ever.  I wonder if there will ever be a day that I don't use the word feisty to describe her?  She's talking up a storm, copying everything we say and do, she loves school, and still has a love/notinlove relationship with Gavin.  She eats and sleeps great and throws 5,000 tantrums a day.  Her favorite place to be is outside, she's terrified of band aids and wants nothing to do with the potty. I have to start planning her 2nd birthday and this seems unreal to me.

 

Gavin:  G buddy is amazing.  He's 7 months old and he's the happiest baby you've ever seen.  He loves Emily so much and watches her like a hawk.  He's been sitting up since he was 5 months old and is now working on getting up on all fours- he will be crawling before I know it.  He would rather eat baby food than drink his bottle and he's growing like a weed.  At his 6 month well visit he was 29 inches long and 21 lbs 11 oz.  Yes, he's a big boy.  He likes his jumper, throwing balls, bath time and swinging.  He's slowly getting used to going for walks but for awhile he hated being in the stroller.  He's not the best sleeper unfortunately.  It varies from day to day but he is still getting up 1 or 2 times during the night and sometimes he thinks the day starts at 5am.  His naps are all over the place.  On days he's at school he only sleeps about 20 minutes but if he's home he will nap for a couple of hours.  But none of that matters because 97% of the time he is happy, smiling and laughing.

Me:  I chopped my hair off and lost most of the baby weight I had put on with E&G.  I wish I could say there was some magic way I did it but I think it was the combination of anxiety and running around after two kids that did it.  I go on 2 long walks with the kids a day and eat normally.  My next goal is to get toned up because even though I'm back to the same weight as I was before kids, my body looks nothing like it did back then.

Steve:  If there was a contest for best husband and dad, he would win- hands down.  He's taken such good care of me through my PPD and he's taken care of the kids at the same time.  He is always there to talk things through when I'm feeling a little crazy and he's my biggest supporter.  Not to mention that he's learning the family business at the same time.  Superman I tell ya.

These guys....I'm so lucky.

I miss all of you and I'm still reading your blogs!!  I try to comment as often as I can but it doesn't always happen because 2 kids under 2 is a crazy thing.