Being positive

I couldn't bring myself to blog last week.  My family got some news that hit me hard, took me down a few notches and left me feeling down, defeated & sad- that's the best I can describe it.  I'm not going to go into detail about this news because it isn't my story to tell and I'm not sure my family member wants their story told right now.  All very vague, I know, but please send healing and positive thoughts & prayers. 

In my down/defeated/sad state my friend Julie gave me a pep-talk/kick-in-the-ass that I really needed.  We were discussing 'self-talk', meaning the way you talk to or about yourself- that little voice in your head.  I tend to be a negative self-talker- "I can't do this, this isn't good enough, I'm not good at this" etc.  Julie said to me- "look at everything you HAVE done"  I replied with, "yes but, I wish I could do/have (__list of stuff__)." 

Then she said, "If you gave someone a gift and they didn't celebrate or say thank you- would you want to give them another gift?"  She was talking about a higher power/the universe/God (however you want to look at it) and everything I have been given and how my negative talk is holding me back and getting in the way of celebrating & being thankful for what I have already been given.  This was eye opening for me.

I have been given many gifts.  I have my health, I have two miracle babies, I have a loving & supportive husband, we have a roof over our head, food to eat and families who love us. 
And I am thankful.

So, I am working on changing my self-talk and being more positive- and it's hard.  This is 30+ years of habit that I need to change for myself and for my kids so they can learn to be positive little people. 

I am a good mom
I am a good wife
I am a good daughter
I am a good sister
I am smart
I am loving
I am loyal
I am determined